Wednesday 29 June 2011

finished the book!

Ooh, feeling ever so slightly sandy-eyed and grumpy today. Leaving-do socialising is taking its toll. I didn't think I drank that much last night, and I was in bed by eleven, but when Twin 2 came into my side of the bed at five-to-six this morning, I did tell her quite clearly that I wouldn't be able to have a chat with her until at least six thirty - these early morning starts ought to be such a sweet chance for quality bonding time, but I just end up bitterly resenting my nice dreams being interrupted half and hour earlier than necessary.
And this morning I didn't have the opportunity to sweat off my grumpiness in the gym as I was attending a poolside first aid course. I now know how to resucitate  (oops, but not how to spell it) adults, children and babies. Hope I never have to though. Apparently if someone has water in their lungs then your first breath into them will dislodge the water and they will vomit it all back up (into your face if you are the first aider). Nice.
Anyway, the good news is that I have finished the book. Oh yes. I mean, of course I now need to go back through it all and revise, edit, etc, but at least I have hit my deadline. I rewarded myself with a nice new eyeliner from Amazon (woo-hoo, living the dream). Hubby very kindly said he felt like buying me a present for hitting my deadline, but I said I think the presents should wait until I get my first advance - might be waiting a while, then...
Hubby thinks that my advance will buy him a nice mid-life-crisis two seater sports car of some sort. Whereas, I think, if I ever sell this book, the advance is more likely to cover a week's supermarket shopping.
Hmmm, think I need to get myself a brufen and rinse the bleach off my teeth before I head out for salad and iced tea.
Take care x

Saturday 25 June 2011

Little R

It's been a rainy old day in Kathmandu, which is a good thing because it meant we didn't have to suffer the Saturday morning scrum at the swimming pool and that I could have a little 'power nap' whilst kids were watching Ice Age 3 (the power nap had absolutely nothing to do with the amount of white wine quaffed at Dwarika's last night, honest).
We made it out through a break in the clouds to a nearby cafe for lunch, but the short walk there was so exhausting (humidity, pot holes, puddles, almost no pavements, roads being dug up, nice stench of sewerage, someone arc welding on the only bit of pavement there was, etc.) that it was a relief to get home again. Ventured out a bit later on to do shopping and pick up pizza and Twins' little friend R who is here for a sleepover tonight, but then almost couldn't get shopping/pizza/kids back home again as there was an impromptu protest on the main road, and military police bunging in road blocks all over the place. I love it here, but living in the UK is a darn sight easier.
Little R lost her tooth whilst brushing her teeth just now. I said in my best Mary Poppins voice 'Ooh, how exciting, the Tooth Fairy will come!', whereupon Little R told the Twins that the Tooth Fairy is really your mum. No, no no, I wanted to shout, because even Son (who is now nine) still believes in the TF, and the Twins believe in everything. Good job Little R won't be around at Christmas time, as that would be the whole Santa Claus thing debunked once and for all.
Someone has kindly lent me Dexter season 5, so I'm looking forward to a few grisly murders in a bit.
Right, better go and be strict with sleepover kids...
Night then x

Wednesday 22 June 2011

dragon's legs

Hello, sorry it's been a while. I have been writing the book, honest (although I have also spent a little time on Facebook). It's all coming together now - of the six things my heroine has to sort out, she's really only got one left to tackle (well, perhaps two).
I couldn't write much this afternoon as I had to take Twin 1 to her private tennis lesson, whilst Twin 2 had a manicure and pedicure at the beauty salon next door to the tennis court (yes, really). I have made it quite clear to the pair of them that our lives will change radically when we get back to the UK and there'll be no more private tennis lessons or pedicures for anyone. We'll all just have to be grateful for a once-a-week splurge on a take away whilst watching celebrity-singing-on-ice-in-the-jungle (or perhaps even that classic bit of reality TV from a few years ago, "Help, my dog is as fat as me!" - really hope that programme is repeated).
Did I mention that we've got a house? Hurrah, we have a house, and we'll only be homeless for five weeks until we can actually move into it. Have just bought a massive family tent on Amazon and got it shipped to my parents, so at least we'll have somewhere to sleep (good job too, as family members are getting ever more reluctant to open their doors to us).
Tomorrow evening is the school's carnival, and the culmination of creative arts week. So we have to go out to a cafe/art space and participate. The twins have the important job of being dragon's legs (?), so must be supportive, I guess (oh, that's actually a pun - not a very good one though, so I probably shouldn't have mentioned it). As part of creative arts week, the music teacher has produced a CD of the kids singing. The proceeds from the CD go to charity, so you can't exactly refuse to buy a copy, especially when (in my case) you have three kids nagging you to fork out. So we are now proud owners of "I've got a song to sing" by the kids of the British School.  And how lovely it is to hear the nursery class's rendition of 'The wheels on the bus' at full volume. Or year 4's version of 'Give me one moment in time' (while I'm racing with destiny - but pitched a bit too high so nobody can quite reach the notes in 'destiny'). I can't even bring myself to post a copy to the UK to inflict on the grandparents. It would just be cruel. Thanks for that, Miss H.
Talking of dragon's legs. I wore shorts to the gym this morning. Yes, you can hear gasps of people claiming how culturally inappropriate it is to show your legs in Nepal. But I've seen Nepali women wearing shorts down our way (mind you, they might be women of ill-repute), so it can't be that culturally inappropriate. I think maybe the gasps of horror are less to do with the cultural aspect and more to do with exposing the good people of Patan to a double-whammy of varicose veins and cellulite. But I can't bring myself to care. I may have dragon's legs these days, but it's too blooming hot to be all coy in leggings.
Right, well then, it's gone ten (obviously Hubby has already been asleep about an hour) and I'm about to run out of charge so nightie night xx

Sunday 19 June 2011

thou shalt not diss thyne wife

Had a nice mini break at Gokarna Forest resort this weekend. At least it was nice until Hubby kindly remarked that my arse looked big in the skirt I was wearing and my hairstyle reminded him of his mother.
I had to remind him that when he's away in Afghanistan for six long months there may be other men who don't thing I have huge arse and a hairstyle like their mum's. Later on, we discovered that he had been leeched. I think it must be God's punishment on him for dissing his wife. Is that one of the ten commandments - thou shalt not diss thyne wife? No? Well it should be.

Thursday 16 June 2011

thirty two point four per cent

Just finished chapter eleven (well, almost, still need to type up final scene). Woo-hoo, I am cooking on gas - not literally, that's Mani's job.

So now I can have lunch (oily fish or hummus with ryevita - still on anti-witch diet), have reflexology, pick up kids and not have a nagging feeling about not having written enough today. Hurrah.

I'm having to pick up kids today (I've been sending them on the school bus recently as it gives me extra time to write) because I need to take the Twins and their little friend to the Year 1 end-of-year party, where the fabulous class rep has arranged for them all to decorate cupcakes and have a lovely time. Son is in Year 4 and not invited. If only he had a Year 4 party to attend instead. Shouldn't the Year 4 rep have organised something, like a pool party or bowling? Who is the lazy old Year 4 class rep anyway? ...oh, that's right, it's me. Apologies to any Year 4 parents reading this, but I am too busy being a wannabe author to do a party right now. Soz.

Twins hair is looking very nice today, hardly a hint of green in it. I'm very pleased because I finally managed to get tomato sauce on their hair last night, by cunningly mixing it up with conditioner and calling it a 'hair masque'. I also had to promise them both a sweet if they kept the 'hair masque' on for twenty minutes. Voila, chlorine stains gone and nice soft hair to boot (slightly red scalps and lingering tomatoe-y aroma though, but lets not dwell on that).

I discovered yesterday that the science of marriage dictates that the most blissfully wedded couples are in a relationship where the man is five years older than his wife, and the woman is twenty seven percent more intelligent (in fact, my old English teacher wrote a poem on the subject: http://www.theweeklypoem.com). I've been thinking about this. Hubby and I have been (mostly) happily married for thirteen years. He is four years older than me. So, given that the age gap is one year less than the optimum, does that mean that the percentage intelligence must be even higher, to compensate? What I mean is that if he's only four years older than me, and we're still happy, surely this must mean that I am at least thirty three percent more intelligent than him. Oh, come on, it makes sense. You do the maths - oh, okay I will, just wait a second...one fifth of twenty seven is... 5.4, and 27+5.4= 32.4
Okay, so I must be 32.4% more intelligent, no? (although will our marriage still be happy after Hubby reads this? Might have to recalculate...)
Right, I'm off for yummy fish and ryevita now xxx

Tuesday 14 June 2011

speedy fingers

My fingers are red-raw from typing and my characters are speeding through their plotlines. Only two and a half chapters to go, and two and a half weeks left of the school term. The last chapter is a really short one (good job, as the last week of term is really only four days - the last day is just a morning, which consists of a very long, weepy assembly, when everyone sings emotional songs and bangs on about how great the school is...this year I shall be joining in with a big packet of tissues, and waterproof mascara), so I might just do it.
Apparently there are bandhs predicted for the next three days - Heaven knows what they are all protesting about this time. I just hope the school bus can get through, otherwise chapter eleven will stall, and my heroine will never get closure, bless her.
Have to go now and type up two thousand words before bedtime...

Monday 13 June 2011

rat trap clap trap

Hubby wants me to tell you about the rat in the car. I think he only wants me too so that I stop banging on about his seedy three-in-a-bed sessions with Sophie and Jocasta.
So...yesterday when I opened the car door to pop five kids in after our morning swim, a rat jumped out. I don't know who squeaked louder, me or the rat. Actually, I do know. It was me. And it was more of a scream than a squeak. And then I had to remind myself that when Hubby goes to Afghanistan I have promised to replace him with, not one, but three of the little furry vermin. So I had better get over myself.
Right, now I need to say goodnight to Son and type up two thousand words whilst Hubby watches final episode of the Wire.
Ta ra!

Saturday 11 June 2011

Transcendental, my arse

Hubby is in bed with Jocasta and Sophie Ellis-Bextor (Troilism! At his age!...not sure if that's how you spell troilism? need to figure out how to get spoll chiker on this blig...)
Anyway, that his little menage a trois with the new gadget and the old pop star is a good thing, as it freed me up to type up the opening scenes to chapter eleven. I didn't quite finish it as I got side tracked into ordering colouring books for the kids on Amazon, but I was working on a Saturday night, which I don't think I've done for about fifteen years. And I do wonder why I'm doing this. I mean, how likely is it that this book will ever make it to publication? Realistically, not very. However, I guess the alternative is playing Farmville online and getting my nails done in the quiet hours before the kids finish school and Hubby gets home from work ...and that alone is enough to propel me to keep writing.
Apart from late-night typing session, today has been very quiet, mainly because I'm the only person naggy enough to make anything happen on weekends, and this morning I wasn't feeling very well (strange buzzy noises in ears and general lethargy - at least, I think that's the medical term for it). So the Twins did a bit of colouring and Son made a start on his space explorer book, and this afternoon we watched Dr Who and Total Wipeout Celebrity Special (which is kind of like a 21st Century version of It's a Knockout - just need an updated version of Jim'll fix it to make it feel as if my kids are reliving my own childhood. But who would the modern-day equivalent of Jimmy Saville be? Hmmm....Ant n' Dec'll fix it, perhaps?).
Tomorrow I'm taking Hubby to the House of Pain, as it's known, and I'm hoping that he'll leave Jocasta and Sophie at home. We're going to have a massage at the Japanese place, and a very nice friend has bravely offered to have our kids for a couple of hours. I'm hoping it will de-stress him, as he's been getting a little bit 'Mars Attacks' recently. I slipped the idea of transcendental meditation into the conversation today, hoping he might say "Ooh, that sounds like a jolly good idea!" but instead he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "Transcendental, my arse." He has been regaining his rufty-tufty-ness since realising that he will soon be back in the 'real' army (as opposed to the distinctly surreal army that is BGN).
Well, anyway, now it's late and Jocasta and Sophie have both gone to sleep and so shall I x

Thursday 9 June 2011

fingers on fire

I can write three chapters in three weeks, can't I? I mean, it's only about thirty thousand words, right? The only problem is that the other chapters have averaged a month each so far. Hmm, I suppose so long as nobody gets ill, I don't have a social life, and I don't watch any telly at all, I might be able to do it. I feel like  I really ought to put my heroine out of her misery and give her her life back before the summer hols, just worried that I might get a bit stressy in the process.
At the moment, we are due to leave Nepal in about seven weeks. School here finishes in three. Back in Blighty, still no news on house or school places. At least we have found a home for Meena and Mani and Gary and the Landrover.
But I'm not worried. No I'm not, I'm calm and serene and philosophical and taking every day as it comes and really absolutely sure that everything is going to be just fine (when, oh when is the Bach Rescue Remedy going to arrive?)
The only good thing thing is that Hubby won't be bothered at all if I spend all my evenings for the next few weeks hunched over the laptop with my fingertips on fire, because he'll be busy with his new mistress, Jocasta. Jocasta is slim, sleek and a mine of useful information. Oh alright then, she's an HTC tablet (yes, I made up the name, because she may as well be a mistress - between Jocasta and the box set of the Wire, I doubt Hubby even knows I still live here).
Right, well, I guess I should stop banging on to you, get the children to bed, and get on with chapter eleven...

Wednesday 8 June 2011

partied out

Oh no, nearly bed time and I'm very tired (not sure why, as I managed a power nap after lunch - maybe I'm just a wuss), but I do have time to tell you about fabulous Twins' sports day (still hoarse from having to shout not just for my two but also for several other girls whose parents couldn't make it to school), and even more fabulous Kushagra's sixth birthday party. I think Kushagra's dad - I've never met him - is responsible for quite a large portion of Nepal's GDP. He imports steel and whisky (knowing how they knock it back here, I bet he makes more money from the whisky), and lives in a nice part of town where all the embassies are. This is the third year I've been to Kushagra's party, and it's just as good as the other years. This year the party theme was VW Beetle cars (maybe the dad has car showrooms too?). In addition to the bouncy castle, face painter and magic show, there was a brand new Beetle (no plates, so clearly straight from the showroom) for the children to sit on and have their photos taken by the official photographer. Wonder what they'll do next year? Fly the kids in by helicopter, perhaps? Sadly we'll miss it, as we'll be back to being plebs in the UK. Shame.
Kids came home full of jelly and chocolate and slightly manic, and so did I.
It's no good, it's nearly ten o'clock and I really have to lie down. Oh, you know a sports day and the kid's party event of the year, all in one day - it's just a bit much!
Night x

Tuesday 7 June 2011

Soz

I just wrote a nice long post, and the site lost it. Bummer! Honestly, it was longer than I've written in ages, but now its gone, lost to the ether, and I'm really too tired to try to remember it and write it all again. Soz x

Sunday 5 June 2011

I think I may have made a date with a parking attendant.

I think I may have made a date with a parking attendant. Or I may have agreed to buy his grandmother. I'm not sure. You see, yesterday I was in  perky mood when I went to pick up our saturday night pizza. The little parking chap (seventeen, at most), smiled at me and I smiled back. I decided to give a bit of my lamentable Nepali a try and asked him 'how much?' in Nepali, and I even understood when he told me it was twenty rupees. Clearly enthused, he then asked if I spoke Nepali, to which I replied 'a little'. But you know, it really is a little. I managed to tell him my name, but then he burbled on a lot, and I nodded in a smiley way, understanding nothing. By the time I pulled away with my (by then almost cold) pizzas, I was under the distinct impression that I had agreed to come back for something...but what? Perhaps he is in league with the scary lychee men and I've agreed to buy twenty kilos of lychees, or arrange for his visa to the UK? I don't know.
Anyway, now I'm not thinking about it and trying to concentrate on the Wire, which Hubby loves, but keeps sending me to sleep. I feel like I ought to like it because it's gritty and complex etc. but the truth is I'm just not up to the intellectual challenge at this time in the evening.
Oh, good news, Twin 2 swam a width yesterday, hurrah!
And more good news, I have just booked our summer holiday in Dubai - hurrah again!
Right, ought to try to start concentrating on the Wire, I suppose.
Night, then. x

Wednesday 1 June 2011

sad, mad and tedious to know

Sorry, been a bit lax, mainly because I've been sad, mad and tedious to know over the long weekend. Luckily a bit saner and less leaky now. Damn those pesky hormones!
Went out for coffee with a lovely friend yesterday, who I hardly ever see because she's a teacher and not a mum (different world). Anyway, she says she swears by Bach rescue remedy for those sad, mad and tedious to know times. She did, however, admit that the touchy-feely-flower- mix is infused in brandy, so I suspect that that might be the real source of its calming properties - have visions of her in the staff room quaffing the stuff in gulpfuls straight from the bottle and telling everyone "It's medicinal". Think I might be tempted to do the same, first thing in the morning.
This morning, however, it's wierdly unstressful: all the kids were ready by seven o'clock - bags packed, sun tan lotion on, teeth brushed, the lot. And right now the Twins are doing some quiet colouring and Son is reading, and there's still ten minutes until we have to leave for the school bus.
I think I must have somehow slipped into a parallel universe....