Alright? Feeling christmassy? I've been putting off doing a food shop so l can do a massive festive Lidl whilst Son is at karate tomorrow. And that's the reason why supper this evening was croissants, carrots and hot chocolate (oh give over, it's a perfectly well balanced meal, and anyway they all had Christmas dinners at school today).
Today l submitted my novel to the Richard & Judy bestseller competition, first prize fifty thousand pounds and guaranteed publication, woo hoo. l also re-worked my PhD application. Turns out it's not as simple as my potential tutor claimed; it's actually a bit of a pain in the bum. But I'm still going to give it a shot, just so long as the funding application doesn't get in the way of my super huge Xmas Lidl excursion!

l have unblocked a toilet, mopped a floor and wiped a bottom (not mine) and now l have just given up on today, really. Twins both seem to have some kind of tummy bug, and someone in their panic used the Forbidden Toilet (not to be confused with the Forbidden City, which is or was in China - l don't think the Forbidden City has anything to do with sausages stuck in the u-bend, although l may be wrong as my knowledge of ancient China is limited...look, if you're really that interested, google it).
l suspect l may also be fighting off their lurgy. Or l may just be in a bad mood - sometimes it's hard to tell...
Hope nobody has used your forbidden toilet recently.
I'm off for a grumpy sleep. Night xx

pies are nice and so are mice

Today I got three Iraqis, one Saudi, two Indonesians and a Hungarian singing 'Let it snow' (the Dean Martin version, which in my opinion way trumps the Frank Sinatra one) - result! It was my final final Monday morning class (the new teacher has promised she will come back after xmas, so I'm fairly hopeful that I really will stop teaching this one). We had mince pies, although half the class couldn't eat them because the mincemeat contained a splash of alcohol, and they are muslims (at least, that was their excuse - I didn't eat any either, because I can't bear all that fruity xmas nonsense, and I'm fasting today anyway). We also had a class photo, but again, half the class weren't in it, because apparently Allah doesn't approve of photographs. Hey ho. More xmas fun on Wednesday, when there'll be xmas parties during both my classes, and students are invited to bring in traditional snacks from their own countries so I shall spend the whole day eating things that are much nicer than mince pies, with any luck.
Bought some more chocolate decorations for our tree at home, following the mysterious disappearance of the last two packets. Can't trust myself to hang them up yet, though - I'm on a fasting day today, and the temptation might prove just too much....

Just realised that there were about a million typos in that last post - must stop writing on my mobile phone and get back to doing it on a decent sized screen, I guess.
So, how are things? Today the Twins went to Narnia (actually a thinly disguised Chatsworth House, but they had a blast) and Son demonstrated his model of how the intestine works. I taught lots of people  about the present perfect continuous (oh, yes, I've finally got the hang of it) and about Christmas customs in the UK. A very lovely woman from Sudan, asked me where the letters to Father Christmas actually go. I told her they go to the North Pole, because that's where he lives, with his magic elves, and  gravity-defying transport system, not to mention his luminous-nosed reindeer. I then went on to tell her about how a couple of years ago my dad left his spare set of false teeth in Santa's mince pie on xmas eve, as proof that Santa does exist (he must be real if he has real false teeth...) and how my children get letters from Father Christmas, and even emails and video messages. Finally I noticed the expression on her face and realised what a load of utter twaddle we tell our children. It's all just one enormous fib, from start to festive finish, isn't it? I still love it, though. We saw Santa at a party on Sunday, and this Saturday we'll be going on a walk with him - hope nobody remembers about the false teeth and asks any awkward questions! x

hiya! Apologies for being off radar again. However, l have excuses. Excuse number 1 is that Bertha has stopped working, so l have had to get off my bum and push the hoover about. Excuse number 2 is that l taught double my usual number of classes last week. l have also been helping out in school. And l had friends to stay at the weekend. And l had a gas leak today. Busy, busy!
l have also been spending a not inconsiderable amount of time bidding for Harry Potter playsets on ebay (Twin 2 had jolly well better be grateful come Xmas morning), but have finally got Hogwarts Great Hall for under fifty quid - you'd be surprised how competitive it gets, bidding for second hand toys. Still, there is a nice mini-endorphin rush when you win...hmm, and that's a bit of a sad indictment on the current state of my life - getting my thrills via the adrenalin hit that is winning an old toy in an online auction.
Still, things could be worse; I could be a primary teacher attempting to grapple with the current literacy curriculum. Which comes first, the predicate (nope not sure how you spell that) or  the relative clause? Hmm? No, don't tell me. l neither know nor care. And l have worked as a journalist, taught ESOL and have an MA in writing. The way teachers are forced to teach English to kids makes me want to cry; it just sucks the joy clean out f it.
Honestly, I'm so upset I may well need to go back online and get into a bidding war over a three inch plastic Ron Weasley, just to cheer myself up.