vomit, mostly

Hubby is out at the Red Rooster (a bar) with workmates and I'm contemplating a second glass of wine, although I should really be in the shower, as i have puddles of congealed vomit all down my back. It's black vomit too, the result of a whole can of Coke: Twin 2 is not very well. In order just to get some fluids down her, I let her drink the (usually forbidden) Coke, and bless her, she managed to down the lot, but then most of it came back up again when she went to bed. I think that managing to cuddle someone when they are throwing up all over you must be the sign of true mother love - I certainly wouldn't do it for Hubby if he comes home two sheets to the wind from the Red Rooster.

Anyway, I'm 39 now.

Yes I am.

It's all a bit depressing. I just wish I could be forty already and just get it all over and done with. 

I can't help imagining this time next year that people will think 'ooh, she looks in quite good nick for someone in her forties', whereas now they'll just be thinking 'hmm, she looks a bit tatty for someone in her thirties'. Well, actually they'll probably be thinking nothing of the kind. They're probably just thinking 'Why on earth is that silly bint letting her four-year-old quaff a whole can of Coke? She is obviously way too obsessed with how she looks to care about hyperactivity or tooth decay.' Or possibly just thinking,'Peter and Jordon, how dreadful, who could have predicted that?'

Anyway, I give up trying to mind read. It's futile. And a jolly good job no-one can read my mind. They would be appalled. Several times a day I have to pull myself up for internal bitchy comments, which really aren't acceptable, even if never voiced.

I have a good friend out here who became a Christian a few years ago. She said one of the hardest things is to give up general bitchiness and schadenfreude. No more Heat magazine. No more celebrity Big Brother, etc. And not only do you have to give up gossip media, you have to give up gossip entirely, even to your husband. Moreover, if someone is nasty to you, you can't bitch about them, you have to FORGIVE them, which would be pretty much impossible for an inherent grudge-bearer like me. 

Must go now as Twin 1 has woken up with a fever, so i suspect the whole vomiting thing is about to repeat itself - good job I haven't got round to having my shower yet...

Tootle pip!