a time of tears and high emotion

It has recently been a time of tears and high emotion (if you're a six-year-old girl). Here's what happened: First, yesterday, Twin 1 had a huge hissy fit as we left school because we weren't walking home the same way as her best friend. She threw her favourite hairband on the floor and then was utterly distraught when it snapped in half. I managed not to laugh and suggested that we go to Tesco where she could purchase a new hairband with her pocket money. This caused more tears when she realised she'd have to replace the broken hairband from her own funds. So we all stumbled into Tesco, with me trying not to notice the other customers staring aghast at my wailing brat (clearly believing that I'd just given her a good beating). Eventually she managed to stop snivelling for long enough to choose not one, but two, identical hairbands. Her logic was that the next time she has a huff, she'll have a spare. I felt this showed wisdom and self-awareness beyond her years, and I was just telling her this as we left Tesco... when she walked into a bollard, and we all laughed at her and then she started crying all over again. So that was the first evening of drama.

Then today after school we all went to Twin 2's friend's home, because when I go back to uni in a couple of weeks the kids will be going there for an hour or so after school once a week. Twin 2 really likes this little girl and, having visited her house, now likes her even more because she has a pink television in her room. I think, if you're six, this must be the height of luxury. We couldn't stay long, though, because I'd promised Son that I'd only have a cup of tea and then we'd get him home to his rats. So, when I mentioned that we had to go, Twin 2 began to get upset, saying that she wanted to stay behind. She became increasingly agitated until she told me that she wanted to divorce me and go to live with her friend (lets call her A). She then howled all the way home, insisting that she wanted a divorce from me right now and that she wanted to go back and live with A. Eventually we made it home, where the wailing continued, culminating with her deciding to walk back to A's house on her own. Luckily, I'd forseen this, and put the burgler chains on. So I said, off you go, then, and waited for the sirens of despair as she couldn't actually escape...Throughout the entire episode I managed to remain calm and retain my sense of humour, but sadly I then lost it later on when she decided to jump off the bed...she told me she was going to do it and I said, no, don't because you've just had...[THUMP]...eye surgery - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU STUPID GIRL DO YOU WANT TO END UP BACK IN HOSPITAL?!

So bang goes my resolution to be less shouty with the kids, then.

I would have a large gin to recover from the palaver, but sadly I only have enough 'sins' left to have a small gin (although I did go to circuits today, so maybe I've burned off enough extra calories to have a large gin?), and the Tesco van hasn't arrived with the tonic water yet.

I told Son that it's his turn to get irrationally upset about something tomorrow, but he declined saying that he'd give his turn to the dog.

So I look forward to the dog running under a bus or biting the postman tomorrow.