Twin 1 went to school upset this morning. It was because of Edward the worm. She made friends with Edward as she scootered in. She told me that he was a fat worm who liked reading (a bookworm, perhaps). She said she was just getting to know him but because he was next to the zebra crossing and a car was waiting for her that she had to leave him behind before the car hooted at her. It was a most distressing incident. I promised to say hello to Edward the worm on the way back up the hill again after dropping them off. I did, but Edward was quite aloof and didn’t even so much as raise an eyebrow in acknowledgement. Then when I got home I had to report the broken toilet seat that apparently broke all by itself because nobody – no, honestly, nobody – stood on it and pretended to be an alien/dragon/wizard. And now I’m waiting for the return of Wayne the boiler man.

I’ve just finished typing up my final scene. It’s not bad, but does need to be a bit more heart rending, I think. Maybe I’ll print it out and have a plate of kippers in front of Ruth and Eamon and get back to it later (did I ever tell you my celebrity link to This Morning’s Ruth Langsford? I house sat for her and her boyfriend once (before Eamon) and I also went out to dinner with her (and about eight other people, not just me and her), so every time I see her on this morning I think, ah, it’s lovely Ruth – whereas I’m quite sure she has absolutely no recollection of me whatsoever). Anyway, better go xxx

Ps. Just realised, it’s Thursday, so it’ll be Phil and Holly, boo, no celebrity link there at all…