cold turkey

So I have got through the whole weekend without bidding for anything on ebay. Uh-huh, quite an achievement for a sad old housewife with Hubby away and no telly, don't you think? Ah, all those Brand New Without Tags bargains just a mouse click away and I have resisted. I have, however, eaten quite a bit of chocolate. Oh, and been to the spa for their Deshain deal, which I have to say was super-dooper. Today, I had a full body massage, facial and reflexology for less than twenty quid. Lush or what? I felt so good that I only had a teensy G&T this evening and even read all the children a bed time story (although poor Son got to listen to a Michael Morpurgo book that he wasn't really interested in but I told him that if he didn't want it then I would put it in the present box and give it to one of his friends at the next birthday party - of course that wasn't an option, so now he has to listen something by the children's laureate rather than Enid Blyton, which would be his preference - still, he needs to have something in his childhood that he can be resentful about in adolescence. I can just imagine the conversation now:

Me: What time do you call this? You're treating this house like a hotel!

Him: Whatever

Me: What kind of attitude is that, young man?

Him: Take a chill pill, Mum

Me: I'll give you chill pill, young feller-me-lad! And will you turn that racket down - it's not music, it's noise.

Him: I didn't ask to be born...

Me: I beg your pardon?

Him (loudly): I said, I didn't ask to be born. You've never understood me, never. You're always having a go. Remember that time when I was seven and you read Michael Morgpurgo to me at bed time when all I wanted was Enid Blyton? That's the kind of mother you are! (storms off and turns music up)

Me (crying bitter tears of frustration): But you were always such a happy little boy!

etc. etc.

Oh, how I look forward to those days. I guess that's when the MoD's quite generous boarding school allowance will really come into its own.