BECAUSE MISS JACKSON SAID SO

Hi, how are you? Major Bumsaw has disappeared back to Ganners for another three months. I'm very sad to see him go, but it's about time I got back to blooming work. I've got The Shipping News to read (no, not the real shipping news, I'm not going to be spouting 'German Byte, fair to moderate' for the next week), and an essay and an exercise to do and other people's work to crit etc. etc. It's all piled up a bit because we've been off doing R&R stuff (Weymouth, family, National Trust visits...), so now I need to get on with turning myself into a proper novelist, because, as Bumsaw keeps reminding me, I don't have a pension and he's not going to keep me in the lifestyle-to-which-I-have-become-accustomed forever. Anyway, I haven't been quite as productive as I should have been today because I had to stop work for a little snooze this afternoon (not because I waved goodbye to my husband at 11pm yesterday with one hand and simultaneously reached for the single malt with the other, not at all, simply because Twin 1 leapt into my bed at silly o'clock this morning and insisted on lying on top of me because she had a tummy ache - quite hard to sleep with a full bladder and a six-year-old on your tummy).
I have to go and unpack some shopping now. We had to have an emergency shop because Miss Jackson, the deceptively nice looking deputy head, has started getting fussy about the colour of children's socks and hair accessories in school. Apparently pink socks and pink hair bobbles are NOT ALLOWED because they're not school colours and because MISS JACKSON SAID SO IN ASSEMBLY. Cursing Miss Jackson and inwardly calling her a colour fascist, I scoured Tescos for black or white hair bobbles and black or white socks - no spangles, colour (or fun) allowed BECAUSE MISS JACKSON SAID SO. I keep thinking about that song, d'you remember it, 'I'm sorry Miss Jackson - woo - happened for real, never meant to make your daughter cry, I've apologised a thousand times' (you do remember it, don't you?). I think I'm going to have to make up a version for when our Miss Jackson hauls me up on some perceived uniform infringement, so I can apologise in song...'I'm sorry Miss Jackson - woo - my girls wear pink, please don't make my little daughter's cry or I'll poke you in your evil eye' ...or something like that. I think I just hate the concept of school uniform in principle; I can't think that wearing the same as the person sitting next to you will really make you learn any better...maybe I've just got a downer on uniforms in general, because after all, I know that the minute my husband puts on his uniform, R&R is effectively over, and I'm back to single parenthood for another few months. Might mention that to Miss Jackson, next time she throws a wobbly about a purple hairband...
Right, better go. Take care xxx