poo and publishing

Poor old Twin 1 is off school again (second time this week) with a tummy bug. And it's the swimming gala today - although I think she might be secretly happy about missing the swimming gala, as she's one of those people who is so competitive that she almost goes into meltdown beforehand (Twin 2, however, just treats these kind of things as a good excuse to be in the limelight: win or lose, she'll get to wave and smile at the crowds, and that's all that really matters to her). It's a little disappointing for me because I was going to have a little shopping trip with a friend afterwards. However, being forced to sit at home in front of kids telly has given me the time to upload chapter one onto thenextbigauthor.com website - a two week peer review competition to find the 'next big author'. So who knows, as a result of Twin 1's bottom, I may end up with a publishing deal (oh, I know, probably not, but now I've got my weekend-at-a-literary-festival bag plus lots of nice silver and cashmere, I like to have secret daydreams about being a famous author. I'm also planning on a big leonine mane of hair, a la Jackie Collins, and some highly impractical stilettoes, too).
Right, I have to get Twin 1 back on the loo before we attempt a trip to the gala. Think I should take the portable potty too...